Dear All 2 of you.  I’m there more than here.  

Benzo hell = why did I do that dumb thing I did?

Nothing feels real, nothing feels good.
Everything I do hurts someone. Especially me.

I can barely work. I can hardly sing anymore

I want to tap that vein again. Maybe this time it’ll be a gusher.

Goddamn that was a big gun

I guess we both knew
That some things were inevitable.
You were the only one with the guts to admit it.

You’re an island girl, but I’m an island, girl

You are the shore, but I am the sea.
Ebbing once more without mercy.

Or pride.

I fell in love with a dead girl.
And I tried to make her warm.
As the sun sets each day,
I set on her.

Lionel, you’re barely alive she said.
As we drank the lotus brew.
Whirled in an ardor, an opiate glow.
A red glass swirl. An iced heart.

And I lost myself then.
For I am still alive.